May.... July Part Two

So, where was I? Oh, yes.... Dad fell off a stepstool and all hell broke loose. Just as this nightmare seemed to be winding down, my 97-year-old grandmother's health started to fail. She lives in Lake Ariel, PA, 30 minutes outside of Scranton. She refused to eat and dropped to 85 pounds. Things seemed to improve a bit when her sister in law brought her raspberry yogurt which she loved. But then... mom got the call. The call to come home. Immediately. My parents and my sister and nephew booked a flight out for Saturday morning (Thursday night was when they received the call). Friday was excruciating. The whole day I was just willing my grandma to hang in there until her daughter was by her side. On Friday, late afternoon, my worry began to ease a bit. My mom was almost home. And then I got the call. From my parents, saying the worst had happened. My grandmother was gone. Yes, my Grandma Phyllis was 97 years old. But nobody wants to lose their mother whether they are 10 years old or 70 years old, and my mom is no different. This loss devastated her, and even more so was the fact that she didn't make it in time and that her mom was asking for her. After experiencing all of this, it makes me that much more fearful of ever having to live far away from my own parents.

My mom and dad came to our house on Friday night to spend the night before heading out to Pennsylvania the next day. My mom said she refused to feel guilty because she had spent months at a time with her mother, at times when her mom needed her most.

Greg and I had an extra day to get ready and we flew out on Monday. Coincidentally, we were already flying to Hartford, CT on Wednesday because I was going to be in my friend's wedding in CT on Saturday. And randomly, Hartford is only 3 hours away from Lake Ariel. So Greg and I flew in 2 days early and were able to keep our return trip the same. Very freaky that the timing and the geography worked out like they did.

The trip with Landon was OK. I would give him a B-. A little whiny and he didn't nap until 45 minutes before we were ready to land (the trip was 4 hours), but no full out tantrums and we didn't get applause when we were leaving the plane, so I think we did fine. We got the rental car, spent 1 hour watching the attendant install the carseat and were on our way. The drive to PA was beautiful and we actually had a really good drive. Although there is NO fast food other than McDonald's in the whole state of CT, FYI.

The next 3 days were spent with family on my mom's side. It was so GREAT to be there. First of all, this town is amazing. Idyllic. Beautiful. It used to be quite the resort getaway and is still a great place to be. We hung out on my grandmother's screened in porch while wellwishers brought us food and condolences. It reminded me of a book I just finished "This is Where I Leave You" about a family grieving their patriarch. I got to have great conversations with my mom's twin brother and his wife, my grandmother's sister and her husband and her brother and his wife. And a lot of extended family. Every day, we would make the trip to the adjoining town, Hamlin, to go to the library so we could check in with work. THis was the only place with WiFi that we could find! We ate Chinese for lunch. We had cocktails all day. We played with Landon. We looked out over the lake. We explored this little town that held so many memories. My mom grew up here, her parents owned a "department store" (more like a five and dime store) that they lived above and they walked across the street to school each day. It was so nice to hear stories and really get to know this whole side of my family. It is heartbreaking that I didn't know more before, and that it had to take a death to bring us all together which spurred by interest in my genealogy.

The funeral was everything it should be. A chance for people to come together. A chance for my mother to say goodbye. I have never felt so protective of my mom. When she couldn't get through what she wanted to say to everyone, to thank everyone who took care of her mom since she was so far away, I wanted to run to her and hold her. When she was in line to see her mother for the last time and she started shaking with sobs, I did run to her and I hugged her and I held her while she said "Bye, Mom." At the burial, it started raining so we were out of our cars for all of 60 seconds before running back to escape the torrential downpour. A few people said that this was just like Grandma Phyllis, getting people to stop mourning already and go eat and celebrate her life!

Which we did. There was a big lunch at this small, worn event place that my mom arranged. Very small town venue and just perfect. Then we went home. Greg and I packed up for our trip into NYC. On our way out, Dad drove us by the cemetery again so we could get a good look at all of our ancestors buried there since it had stopped raining. There were many names I recognized, and again, I had so much regret that I didn't spend more time in this town when I was younger..... when my grandmother's 5 siblings were all alive and living in the area. I am fascinated by these people and wish I knew more about them. The good news for me I guess is that most of the headstones we looked at all had dates indicating that all these people lead long lives - most were in their 90's when they died. Good genes!

We drove to NYC and I just broke down crying on the cartrip - I didn't want to leave - I wanted to soak all of this in. And it was hard knowing that I might not be back for awhile, if ever. My grandma was the reason we spent time in this town and now she is gone.

One sidenote, Greg was amazing through all of this. He loved getting to know everyone and he also wants to know more about this town and this side of my family. And we have decided that we want to live here. But don't worry - we want to live in about 8 other places, too. And I doubt none of these will happen for a long time!

We got to NYC, parked, checked into the hotel and had a pizza dinner in the room. The next morning Greg had breakfast with a friend of his before he became a single parent for the next 2 days. I joined my girlfiends for a prewedding brunch in Hell's Kitchen. Loved the restaurant taht we went to that is managed by a former drum corps acquaintance. It is called VNYL. Total throwback to divas (they had a Dolly Parton bathroom, a Cher bathroom, etc.) We then drove into CT in rush hour traffic and the traffic was so bad that we missed the rehearsal. But the rehearsal dinner was great. It was a Greek theme and so yummy. Greg and Landon left after the dinner and I had to learn the Thriller dance (which we were required to perform at the reception) and helped with a number of wedding tasks.

I have to say, after this day, I MISSED my boys. I always love breaks from my son and I get them OFTEN because my husband kicks ass, but I craved time with them.

That was not to be for the next 24 hours because of the wedding and reception. Landon's no schedule, no naps, constant car rides, late bedtimes, early wakeups and decreased nursing finally caught up with him and he had a meltdown at the reception. Greg had to take him back to the hotel room for the remainder of the day.

Another sidenote that I may need preserved for posterity..... after the wedding, we were told to go straight to the reception which was 1 1/2 hours away (the wedding was 1 1/2 hours away from the hotel as well). Landon needed to be fed, and I didn't want to miss the Grand Entrance with the bridesmaids that we were to be a part of, but Landon was hungry. So what did I do? I unzipped my dress in the car in the middle of driving down 95 in the middle of a Sat in CT, dangled a boob down so Landon could feed while in his carseat. Yes, I got looks. But I didn't know what else to do! I had to feed him and I didn't think I had time to pull over! This is only the second nightmare nursing situation I have been in (the first was sitting on a toilet in the bathroom of the restaurant that we had my office Christmas party at), so I guess I am doing OK. Of course, when we got to the reception site we were told that the party van containing many of the wedding party had stopped to get liquor and had taken the ferry and that they weren't going to be arriving at the reception for an hour, so I could have pulled off for a nice leisurely nurse. Lovely.

Anyway, after the reception, Greg and Landon and I took a much needed dip in the pool with Landon and my dear friend Reba who was also a bridesmaid. And then the 4 of us ordered pizza in the room and just chilled and talked. She is pregnant so she was the other bridesmaid that wasn't up to the full on party schedule that the rest of the wedding party observed.

It was a chaotic 2 days, but it was great to see all my other bridesmaid friends (Suzanne from FL, Estelle and Becky from TX and Reba from Vegas). And of course it was great to be a part of Antares' big day. We have been pen pals since we were 15 (crazy, we have never even lived in the same state!) and I was honored that she asked me to stand up with her.

The next day was the last day of our trip. My parents had called and asked us to come back to Lake Ariel (yep, 3 more hours) so we could pick out some furniture of my Grandma's to have. We drove back (again, BEAUTIFUL drive) and picked out some things an then we went to dinner with my parents. A little stressful getting there but it was a great dinner. And it was a favorite of my grandmother's so I felt really at peace being there. And Landon got to eat off of my plate - Chicken Scampi. Yum!

We drove (all together now, 3 MORE HOURS) back to Hartford, arriving after midnight. We checked into the hotel, had a brief rest, woke up, returned the rental car, got on a plane and flew back home.

8 days. 1,100 miles in a rental car. Party vans. Brunches. Family. Friends. Choreography. Small towns. Big cities. Landon's first pool, lake, dinner eating off of my plate, his third tooth, and his first wedding and funeral.

Below are some pictures of the trip.

Do you see why I haven't blogged in awhile? The craziness that was my June prohibited anything other than just getting through it. But we did, and I am proud of our little family for surviving intact!